Waxing of the Woo-Woo's--Disclaimer: For Women's Eyes Only- -

Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

There comes a time in life where you want to live a little. Some people get tattoos, others get piercings...My friend we will call her,"Abeeb" and I decided to get our woo-woos waxed. She is going on a trip and I wanted to do a wedding trial run. We did some research and with the horror stories (ripping of skin, wax that burns your skin off, and bruising) fresh in our minds we made our appointment at the Wax on Spa in Portland. They have had articles written about them in several magazines and we were willing to pay extra for people who know what they are doing. We decided to wax it all...our reasoning? "When in Rome"...For three weeks we gave ourselves nervous belly thinking about what lies ahead. My personal goal was to make sure I didn't cry. I wasn't going to let myself underestimate the pain involved...it is a form of torture in Africa for god sake! (granted they rip it out by hand...but still).

Finally the day had arrived. We took the recommended dose of Advil, and headed to our appointment early in the hopes of hitting up a bar for an additional layer of courage. We found a small half coffee shop half bar in N. Portland (A rougher area of town). We enjoyed a couple PBR tall boys, while sitting outside on two tin chairs. It had that senile old man vibe to it. We finished our drinks and feeling a little more confident walked the 5 blocks to our fate.

Abeeb went back first...no screams were heard so when they called my name a minute later I felt pretty good about it. They give you a couple pointers to lessen the pain, give ya a "trial" strip and them it begins. Besides the incessant sweating that comes out of nowhere and the feeling of large band aids being yanked off, it wasn't as bad as I had thought...A couple of strips in and I hear it-Abeeb's waxing must not have started yet because i could hear her in the next room now. You could hear the rip followed by a scream and clapping, followed by nervous laughing. This made me laugh. By now I was chatting with the technician and making sure that the rumor we heard (having to get on all fours so they can wax your bum) was fiction. Thank God it was! Note: Reputable salons do not use this practice. (This would have made me feel so violated that a rape kit may have been needed). The waxing of the bum was the easiest part and didn't hurt at all. As Abeeb told her technician when that part was complete..."child's play"..."All finished," said the technician about 30 minutes after the ordeal had started. (They give you some lotion and a hot towel to clean the wax off(the best part), leave you with some care instructions and that's all there is to it). We are going to do it again, but may not go all out, because the pre-pubescent feeling you get afterword is kinda creepy.

All in all it was a fun day. Waxing gives you an excuse to pop some pills, drink some beers, scream, laugh and be lazy for an entire day! Well worth the 30 minutes of discomfort. We think everyone should get something waxed...Live a little.

Now if we could only get Nick to wax his "yahoo" with us next time...